Bill O'Hanlon, M.S.,;

3 approaches to stepparenting that usually don't work


You and your ex screwed up these kids and now I'm going to fix them


We're an instant family with instant love


"Why don't you get your kids to . . .?" or "Do you know what your kids did?"


Some hints about what might work


Beware the triangle-use one-to-one communication when possible


Circle the wagons-draw boundaries around the marital relationship and around the new/blended family


Take your parenting disagreements behind closed doors and present a united front with the kids


Don't take it personally-Use action language and escalating consequences


Build up credits in the relationship bank before you make withdrawals


Remember that no one has a lock on "correct" parenting


If all else fails, try the roommate or friend models for being a stepparent

This page is designed by Gary Schultheis. Yours could be too.
Revised: November 11, 2023 --- Copyright © 1997 Bill O'Hanlon